The Beatles Rock Band: Help, I Need Somebody!

I loathe Guitar Hero.

So much, in fact, that I’m usually bashing anyone and everyone who takes the video game serious enough to boast that they are an “expert” on Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird” or can nail that tasty Hendrix solo on the live version of “Purple Haze.”

The game just really grinds my gears.

And before you jump down my throat, take me out back for a beating and proceed with your angry tirade of “You’ve never given the game a chance” and “It’s just something to do for fun,” allow me to explain.

See, I’ve played Guitar Hero. My brother-in-law forced me to give it a shot and, yes, I still hated it. Then I was forced to watch him “take the stage” for nearly 20 minutes with his six-song “set.” So before you lambaste me, check yourself.

It’s not just the fact that someone has the audacity to drop nearly $100 on the “guitar” and the disc that gets me flustered, it’s the whole mentality that these people actually believe their accomplishing something musically.

It’s a freaking plastic remote control. You have no musical talent. You’re just pressing buttons on a multi-colored pseudo-fret and “strumming” a metallic bar, while vigorously tapping a bogus whammy bar to alter those heavy, long notes.

Maybe I have such strong resentment because I play the guitar and have practiced for hours on end or maybe I’m just taking things too seriously. Either way, I just find it utterly ridiculous that these gamers pat themselves on the back for accomplishing a feat that an eight-year old can easily fulfill.

And that gets us to the topic at hand.

When Rock Band was released back in ’07, I carried these same ill-feelings.

It was Guitar Hero…..only worse. The simulated guitar remained in tact, only now they had added drum pads and a microphone.

All you needed was to round up a few local musicians, find a decent place to rehearse (the living room) and you’d be on your way to a record contract.

I think Charlie Brown said it best when he uttered the phrase “Good grief!”

Now here’s where I’ll stop my lengthy diatribe and actually offer some news to those who relish these kind of fads.

Arguably the greatest band ever, The Beatles, along with Apple Corps/Viacom/MTV Games have released the trailer for the latest edition of Rock Band due out Sept. 9 of this year.

The game has been heralded for being a one-of-a-kind format where you can journey through the career and legacy of The Fab Four, while mastering 45 of the greatest songs in their catalog — making concert stops at Yankee Stadium and the Ed Sullivan Show.

Below are the first ten songs confirmed:

01 “I Saw Her Standing There”
02 “I Want To Hold Your Hand”
03 “I Feel Fine”
04 “Taxman”
05 “Day Tripper”
06 “Back In The USSR”
07 “I Am The Walrus”
08 “Octopus’s Garden”
09 “Here Comes The Sun”
10 “Get Back”

Now here’s where I need some help.

I’m a bonafide Beatles junkie. I play “The White Album” quite religiously and regularly strum “Here Comes the Sun” and “Blackbird” on my acoustic guitar.

I admit this trailer is enticing. It’s forced me, at least for a split-second, to consider pursuing the game when it’s released in a few short months.

However, I know that in the end it’ll be quite similar to my experience playing Guitar Hero. I’ll be left wondering what exactly I was thinking and will be regretful for even picking up the phony axe.

But the sheen of the Beatles is just so bright (die-hard fans can attest to this).

What to do?